A Success Building BLOG

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Discipline to Success:

The Social Attribute

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt

continuation from BLOG posting: social development

Building Your Social Skills

Developing the First Definition of the Social Attribute

We are reviewing the attributes that make-up a socially developed person:

1) A socially developed person has inner qualities that are attractive to other people.
2) Socially developed people force others upon themselves rather than forcing themselves upon others.
3) A socially developed person possess both leadership and follower qualities.
4) Socially developed people like and enjoy themselves.

Sociable people are accepted and liked by peers and family. They possess a good or benevolent nature. They are considerate and helpful to others, giving of their service and friendship to all regardless of race, religion or economic status.

Let’s discuss the second attribute.

1) Socially developed people force others upon themselves rather than forcing themselves upon others.

Let’s review the social personalities of two fictitious characters: James and Bobby.

James is a Harvard MBA graduate with 10 years professional experience. He manages two departments. He’s articulate, forceful and fights his own way through corporate politics. His goal is to become the Chief Financial Officer for XYZ Corporation. James is not timid about his ambitions. He intends to achieve this goal no matter what the cost.

James can be a nice person around his superiors. But James hesitates to listen to ideas and suggestions from people below him. Subordinates who disagree with James can find themselves out of favor. James will recognize accomplishments made by his people, but he often portrays their accomplishments as a direct reflection on his superior management skills.

James has a cordial relationship with managers on his same management level. He invites many of his associates for lunch and after work activities. James is forceful in his meetings, however. He talks frequently about himself and the accomplishments or challenges he faces. He pushes himself on others and dominates most conversations.

James is egotistic. He forces himself, his ideas, his family, his stories, his accomplishments, his feats, etc., upon others. He thinks highly of himself and believes his ideas and management style make him the best candidate for Chief Financial Officer.

Bobby is a Harvard MBA Graduate with 10 years professional experience. Bobby manages two other departments that report to the same management team as James. Bobby is articulate, friendly, charitable and creative. He too aspires to become Chief Financial Officer for XYZ Corporation.

Bobby and James are competitive managers reporting to the same executive. Unlike James, however, Bobby is more interested in the affairs of others. He has ambitious goals and will fight for his team. Bobby often confronts James and debates his style of management and ideas. Bobby’s management style is different. Bobby invites all of his team in the decision making process. Every person on the team has an equal say. Ideas and suggestions are treated respectively and debated in a friendly manner.

Bobby takes an interest in all of his people in the department. He spends the time to learn the names of his staff and their families. He often walks the floor and greets everyone politely. He probes his department employees to find out where they live, where they come from, and what problems or changes they would like to see in the department. He often invites staff members to lunch in the company’s cafeteria. Team members who make outstanding contributions are rightfully recognized. Bobby personally meets with them and thanks them for their contribution.

Bobby is egotistic too, but in a funny kind of way. When he speaks of himself, it usually centers around some stumbling situation he has encountered. He thinks highly of himself, but staff members hardly notice. Bobby seriously believes his ideas are best for the company and fights aggressively to win senior management approval. Bobby forces others, their ideas, their families, their stories, their accomplishments, etc., upon himself by listening, probing and taking an sincere interest in the affairs of others.

And now the million-dollar question: Which of these two department managers would you like to work for? The answer can be subjective depending on your personal ambitions. But it would be fair to say that Bobby makes a better manager than James. Bobby is fair and honest. He works to build the self-esteem in others. He takes an interest in his people and their personal lives.

You can strengthen your social attribute by forcing people on yourself rather than forcing yourself on others. Take an interest in others by probing into subjects that interest other people. Develop and grow your friends and associates.

Next Time: we’ll continue our how a socially developed person possess both leadership and follower qualities. In the meantime, try implementing these socials skills into your social interaction with others.

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