5 Questions To Ask Your Partner Before You Get Married

5 Questions To Ask Your Partner Before You Get Married
  • Opening Intro -

    Preparing for a wedding is different than preparing for marriage.

    One is an event, and the other is a complex and consuming relationship involving compromise, courage, and compassion, not to mention trust, flexibility, and the willingness to equate your partner’s needs to your own.


These five questions to ask your partner before you get married can help you uncover areas of difference that may challenge your marriage and confirm you’ve made the right choice.

Do You Want Kids?

When one partner desperately wants to become a parent, but the other is indifferent or even hostile to the idea, marriage could be a struggle. But even if partners enthusiastically agree they want to become parents, their attitudes toward things like changing diapers, two-in-the-morning feedings, and whether who should miss work for the school play can impact the relationship.

How Did Your Family Fight?

All families have disagreements, but the way families manage conflict can vary widely. Ask your partner how their family resolved arguments.

Did they discuss conflicts calmly and come to a compromise, or was there door slamming and screaming? Decide ground rules for disagreements between the two of you before you find yourself embroiled in your first big fight.

Will My Stuff Be Yours and Your Stuff Be Mine?

Find out if your partner shares your ideas about personal property, debt, and finances. You should also find out in advance whether your state is a community property state, where any property you acquire during the marriage belongs to both of you.

While you don’t want to think about it during the joyful preparations for your wedding, both of you should understand what happens to your property, debts, and money if you should ever get divorced, and know how you will divide your property if you split up.

Is Religion Important to You?

If you and your partner come from different religious backgrounds, you should discuss the implications for your married life. Do you attend services weekly, or not at all?

Are there traditions or religious requirements you expect to follow in your home? How will you celebrate holidays together? What role will your extended families play in your religious life?

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Are You OK With Me Doing Things on My Own?

Adults bring their pasts with them into marriage, including ex-partners, groups of friends, the hobbies they enjoy, and the teams they support. Ask your partner whether they expect you to include them in everything you do or if they’re OK with you going out with your friend group by yourself from time to time.

This is one of the five questions to ask your partner before you get married that could open the door to an important discussion of trust, which is essential to a successful marriage.

If you and your partner work out these and other important issues about your life together before you get married, you’ll be on a more secure footing to walk through your lives together, with less conflict and more respect.

Image Credit: questions to ask your partner before you get married by Adobe Stock royalty-free image #212440729

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