A Success Building BLOG

A Success Building BLOG

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BLOG postings: (link to Achieving Success BLOG for all posts and PDF downloads)

Discipline to Success:

The Social Attribute

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt

continuation from BLOG posting: social development

Building Your
Social Skills

Last week we reviewed the terms “introverts” and “extroverts”.   Introversion characterizes people whose social satisfaction or needs come from within themselves — in other words, from social activities that involve very few people.  Extroversion characterizes people whose social satisfaction or needs come from outside of themselves — or in other words, from social activities that involve many people.

We used an illustration to scale the two -troversions (these measurements are for illustrative purposes only and do not measure any scientific analysis). Introversion can range from the extreme introversion — scale mark “-5” — to minimal introversion — scale mark “0”. Extreme introverts are individuals who prefer not to be around people. They isolate themselves from all social activities.

On the opposite end of the scale, extroversion can range from extreme extroversion — scale mark “+5” — to minimal extroversion — scale mark “0”. Extreme extroverts are individuals who prefer to be around people constantly. They may turn on their television sets just to hear the sounds of people, for example, even though they are not watching any particular program.

You won’t find many people who are extreme introverts or extreme extroverts. Most of us fall somewhere on the scale between -2.5 to 2.5. Introverts who are within this range will enjoy a party or loud activity once in awhile, but generally, they flow to activities that interact with fewer people. Extroverts who are around “+2.5” on the scale will sometimes enjoy a quiet evening at home with a book or video, but generally, they flow to activities that place them in the company with many people.

Neither tendency on the scale is socially weak or socially strong. We are simply different people finding niches in social activities that make us happy. But a personal goal to strengthen your social attribute may be your maintaining a social balance between introversion and extroversion tendencies. Strengthening your social attribute means shifting your social tendencies closer to the scale mark “0”.

If you are a person whose social tendencies fall within the -3 to -2 range, you might consider social changes that increase your interaction with people. Your social goals may include increased participation with people such as your arranging weekly social outings (dancing, theater, ball game, etc.). You could plan parties or events with a group each month. Your objective is to increase your social interaction with people.

If you are a person whose social tendencies fall within the +2 to +3 range, you might consider social changes that increase your participation in activities that are simple and quiet. Your social goals may include interacting with fewer people, perhaps once each week. Instead of participating in one exhaustive party after another, spend some quiet time with a friend or spouse by going for a walk, listening to a piece of music, or watching a video in your home. Schedule an activity such as cycling each weekend morning where you can be with yourself. Your objective is to increase social activities that are inward.

I am not suggesting that extroverts walk away from outward activities. Nor am I suggesting that introverts cease activities that are inner related. What I am recommending is that you find a balance between introvert and extrovert activities. If you are a person who can’t stay at home and who is constantly running out the door to be with people for example, try to balance your extrovert tendencies with activities that are more inner related. On the other hand, if you are a person who never gets out of the house, try to balance your introvert tendencies with activities that are outward related. Maintaining a balance between the two tendencies will build and strengthen your social attribute.

Next Week: we will put the social attribute to work.
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